Reflections…

I started trying to write this post about a half-a-dozen times. Trying is the optimum word in that sentence because I knew what I wanted to say, but couldn’t find a way to say it. In the past few days I have been reflecting a lot on the past year, and how much has changed. But how to sum up a year filled with so many hopes, fears, disappointments, and joys? Without writing a book, it couldn’t be done.

So as I sat here trying none-the-less to do so, two words kept popping into my head: challenges and thankful.

If there was ever a year in my life that I can define by challenges and the associated personal growth, it is 2013. This was a year filled with challenge after challenge, truly testing my abilities to grow and adapt in response to them. From trying to get through and come to terms with a disappointing and fearful birth experience to helping my husband through the anxiety caused by his constantly in crisis job, both Bennett and I have had to face challenges, learn, grow, and help each other. Throw in the child care drama, major job decisions, and the on-going learning process that is parenting and it has been an eventful year. It seemed like every time we got through one problem the next one was already headed our way.

Looking back, I am not the same person I was a year ago. I have found patience I never thought I would possess; strength I only hoped I could summon; and the flexibility to face yet another challenge coming our way with at least some grace (I hope). Most of all, I learned that you need to take control of your reality and redefine it into what you want it to be.

I am truly thankful for what the last year has taught me, even if the learning was stressful and difficult. I am thankful for our family and friends that gave our little family the support we needed. I am thankful that my mom had the ability, and desire, to spend more time in our house than hers because we needed her. I am thankful that this difficult year strengthened both Bennett and me individually and as a couple. And of course I am thankful for the little boy sleeping on his dad next to me.